


Hater Has An Adventure In Thedas

by kenzeegrace



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, friendfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 08:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4428410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenzeegrace/pseuds/kenzeegrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heater accidentally preforms the #1 no-no and gets sent to the shadow realm</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hater Has An Adventure In Thedas

     One day Heatehr Hydan was playing a simple game on her lapotp. It was called dragN Age: 2 and it was not simplle at all. It aws a shiitty convoluted game but heathre loved it nonetheless. But then :0 whats this? Heatehr has cut her finger on the trackpad what a dick move how does that even harpeNDI TS A FLAT SURFACE EHAETHER. But anyways. She looked in horror as a drop of blood fell onto the pentagram she had on her floor .It fell there and there was not a tihng she could do about it.  
     "OHNO" heater cried. She had prefromed blood magic, the gratest sin of all. Now she would never get to date Cassandra. Im pretty sure cassandra hates blood magic.  


~~~~~

  
     Suddenlt heathe woke up. OHLY SHIT she yelled. IM IN THEDAS.(more like THE ASS amirite).  
"dont ask me how i know" ehter said. "because ur a dumbasss theres a giant sign right here that says welcome to thedas." She strolled up tp the nearest store and punched the owner in the face until he passed out. Then she took his armour. she didnt want to die. She left the store and went to the castle. Im pretty sure its called kirkwall that sounds like a castle name. Hey fuckfaces, she said. Alistair is the only one who turned around.  
     "Heather!!!!!" he said like an excited puppy. "we've been waiting for you."  
     "Hell yeah you have" heat replied, playfully punching him in the face. She still didnt know why she was there but she knew she couldnt show weakness because she would die in the cruel world of thedas. "But anyways why am i here"  
     "Well u see. theres a fucking bug screaming outside my window for the past two hours and we want you to kill it" he said.  
     Heather punched hi in the face for real this time. "are u kidding me rn" She really hoped he waas kidding because she didnt know if she was in the right emotional state right now to confront a screaming bug let alone kil one.  
     "Yeah im just joking. Thought you might have a good laugh at that." alistair waited a second for heaher to laugh. Hater did not laugh. "Anyways joking aside your wife is kidnapped by like. Demons or some shit."  
     Heathr entered super saiyan mode. Her wife. WHom she loved. Kidnapped. How could she have been so foolish as to let ths happen???? "But where is she?" she demanded.  
     "Well." AListair said. "when she was getting dragged away by the demon, she was really like. Fading in to the distance? So we're all pretty much agreed that she's in the fade." Heather nodded. That made sense. Things often faded as they enterede the fade.  
     "Im going to get her" heate said heroically. But inside she was not heroic. She knew she wold be in great danger. but it was worth it for her beautiful wife merill. In fact, she wondered why she was worried about doing blood magic when her wife is apparently like a huge blood mage like who knew? She looks so innocent to me. But oh well. "anyways bye" Hat skateboarded out the door. 

~~~~~

     The real Question was: who would join heather on her quest to save her wife? Fenrs maybe. And cassandra. And Varric. . Yeah. And Aveline and isabella or something. nice, heater thought. I've got a good band of people here. They can defeinitely help me get merrill back. She looked at them. "Alright ya shits we're goin for my wife. She's in the fade so level up and come with me." They all obeyed her because she terrified them.  
     They walked to the doors of the fade. "I'm pretty sure this isn't a good idea," fenris said. He did not like demons. He was crying a little. He went inside anyways.  
     When they were inside the fade, they could see everybody's dreams, because the fade is where the dreams are. Fenris was dreaming of some cats. Varric was dreaming that giant pieces of macaroni ate his family. That happened to me once. The dream, not the macaroni.  
     Isabela dreamed she was kissing Cassandra. Cassandra dreamed that she was in a romance novel instead of the fade. Heather was dreaming that she was kissing a giant frog, but everyone politely ignored that.  
     They stepped right up to the Big Bad Demon. Varric pulled out his gun to shoot it, but Heater stopped him. Because sitting next to the demon, having a tea party with him, was her wife. It was the beautiful Merrill. "Hey babe" she said to theather. Hatehr blushed.  
     "Hey demon," heater yelled. "I want my wife back." The demon laguhted at this and held out his fist. So this is what they were doing. they were going to settle this the old-fashioned way. Heter ut her her fist out as well. On the count of 3 , heat presented a piece of papr. The demon had scissors.  
     "HA" said demon. "I WIN. SCISSORS BEATS PAPER." Heater cried for 10 minutes and then she thought of something. She decided it was time to call in a favour.  
     "That's true Demon," she laughed. "But do you know what beats scisors?"  
     Suddenly the walls started shaking and a portal opened beween dimensions. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson ran through and killed the demon will his bear hands. He smiled. His teeth did the anime sparkle thing. "Rock beats scissors."  
     "Hey thanks man" hater patted the rock on the back.  
     "anytime. I'm always happy to help u after what you did for me hatter." The rock shook hands with everyone before disappearing back into the portal.  
     Heter strode up to her beautful wife and hugged her. "I'm so glad ur safe." They both cried a little bit and kissed and stuff.  


THE END


End file.
